Homecoming

Do you enjoy class reunions? Or do you skip them because you feel that you don't measure up? This sermon examines the expectations that other people have of us, as well as those that we load on ourselves. Even Jesus had to deal with expectations! If you choose to read my sermon, you'll find out what that was all about -- and how we might deal with all those expectations.

Our older daughter recently reminded us that next year will be her 10^th year reunion at Muskingum University. She is planning to fly up for homecoming weekend in October, and is hoping that Fred and I will find the time to drive over while she is there. (I imagine that we will.) In addition to setting me back on my heels a little bit (I can’t believe that she has really been teaching for 10 years!), it got me to thinking about homecomings in general. I usually don’t attend my college homecoming celebrations, but I’ve been to several of my high school class reunions; and in general, I enjoy them. Homecoming is a great time to reconnect with classmates that I’ve lost track of, as well as to catch up on the latest news. I must confess, though, that I’m beginning to feel like the man who attended his 50^th class reunion. After he returned home, his wife asked him, “How did you enjoy it?” “Oh, it was fun,” he responded, “but there were so many old people there!”

All kidding aside, there can be a downside to our class reunions; and it’s not that we have all grown older. Although we may have changed, some things stay exactly the same, especially in a small town. Even after all the years, some class members are still “in,” while others are still “out.” You know what I’m talking about. Once you’re a football star, you’re always a football star; and once you’re an outsider, you’re always an outsider. That never seems to change, whether we’ve been out of school for 5 minutes or for 50 years. The expectations that people have of us are as permanent as if they were carved into the monument next to the post office in the middle of town. The popular cheerleader married a rich, good-looking man who financed her face lifts and tummy tucks. We expected as much. The son of the local banker has become successful in his own business. We expected that, too. But the gawky kid who never had much to say in or out of class – we didn’t expect him to do anything much worthwhile! After all, he was a nerd! Yes, expectations can follow us our whole lives.

Jesus ran into that kind of mindset when he came back to Nazareth for a visit. The townspeople had already heard of his reputation, so they asked him to teach in the local synagogue on the Sabbath. And they were amazed at him! But what amazed them was the fact that this local boy had made something of himself. They couldn’t picture Jesus as anything more than the shy kid who always had a runny nose. “Where does this man get these things?” they asked. “Isn’t this Mary’s son? Why, he’s the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon!” I can’t help but wonder whether they were also thinking, “Isn’t this the kid who was born before his mother got married?” Far from being impressed with Jesus, they were offended at him. That’s the trouble with homecomings: you can never quite leave your past behind.

I heard a lot of these comments while I was growing up. My parents were both fair, open-minded people; but they had both grown up in Piqua, and my father owned his own business there. That meant that they knew everybody in town. Many nights at the dinner table, I would comment about a classmate – about a school accomplishment, perhaps – and more often than not, Dad would ask, “Isn’t that so-and-so’s boy?” Mom would say something like, “I think so. Remember, his grandfather owned the store on South Street.” And then Dad might reply, “Oh, yes. His family was a bunch of deadbeats. They never paid their bills on time.” It used to make me madder than a wet hen to have my classmates judged by their ancestors – but that’s exactly what happened. And many of us are still judged that way – not by our ancestors, perhaps, but by what we did 10 years, 30 years, or 50 years ago. Expectations of other people are powerful things. They surround you like a cloud of gnats in the summer. You can swat at them until you’re blue in the face; but you can never quite get rid of them.

But as troubling as the expectations of other people are, there’s something even worse – the expectations that we have of ourself. Many people would never think of setting foot at homecoming because they are afraid that they don’t measure up to their own expectations. And oh, my, those expectations can be enormous! I’ll bet that you even have some of those expectations yourself. Do any of these sound familiar? “I’m not thin enough. I’m not fit enough. I’m not good-looking enough. I’m not successful enough. My kids aren’t successful enough. My hair is grey (or I don’t have any hair left).” No wonder that people who are planning to go to homecoming start crash diets, take out gym memberships, and get new dresses and suits! We buy into all those expectations that our culture tells us we should have of ourselves; and we end up feeling inferior to everybody else!

And those expectations can kill us, friends! Whether it’s what other people expect of us or what we expect of ourselves, they can push us right into an early grave! I wonder whether Jesus had unrealistic expectations of himself, too. After all, he was God’s son! Don’t you think that made him want to be just a little bit of an overachiever? I imagine that he went back to Nazareth eager to help them out – to proclaim the good news that God loves them, and to heal those who were ill. But it didn’t work out that way. Jesus couldn’t do much of anything in Nazareth because nobody believed in him! Even Jesus, with all his power, can’t control the expectations of other people. Mark tells us that Jesus was amazed at their attitude – and I imagine that he was disappointed, as well. And so, he simply went on. There was absolutely nothing that Jesus could do about all those expectations except leave them behind. He went to other villages where their minds and hearts were much more open than in Nazareth. He went on to teach and preach and heal where he was accepted and welcomed.

Maybe that’s what we need to do, too. When other people try to hold us down by expecting that we will fail, maybe we need to find other people who will accept us and welcome us and encourage us! Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” and she was exactly right. Jesus moved on away from Nazareth; and sometimes God calls us to move on, too, away from people who don’t recognize us for what we are – beloved children of God.

But what about the things that we say to ourselves? What do we do when we hold ourselves down by comparing ourselves to impossible ideals? It’s important to recognize that those ideals don’t come from God; they come from Madison Avenue. Not as attractive as the models you see in magazine advertisements? Those models are wearing tons of makeup; and their photos are airbrushed to make them look even better! Not as fit as the trainers on “The Biggest Loser”? Those trainers spend hours every day keeping in shape, because they are paid to look like that! Are you ashamed of looking older? Don’t be ashamed, give thanks! Many people haven’t lived as long as you have! My father, who was a professional photographer, once did a portrait of an older woman whose face showed her age. In an effort to make her more attractive, he removed all the wrinkles from the finished portrait. When he showed it to the woman, she glared at him and demanded, “Young man, you put those wrinkles back! I earned every one of them!” Whether we’re old or young, fit or not so fit, attractive or average, we are all children of God. We don’t have the right to put ourselves down, because God created us and pronounced us “good.” In God’s eyes, our dress size or our abilities or the amount that we have in our bank account doesn’t matter! What matters is whether we show love for God and for others. All the rest isn’t worth a hill of beans!

So don’t worry about other people’s expectations of you! And don’t set your own expectations so high that you can never measure up! Go right ahead and go to your class reunion when homecoming rolls around; or, if you know that you won’t enjoy that reunion, stay home and watch a movie on TV. After all, the only homecoming that really matters is the one that we’ll all attend when we are gathered into glory. And on that day, we won’t be compared to anyone else. On that day, we’ll hear God say, “Welcome, beloved child! I’m so happy that you’re finally here! There’s no one here who is exactly like you are. Nobody else can take your place. You’re perfect just the way you are!”