It is said that when God decided to create woman, God first consulted with the man. “If you give me an arm and a leg,” God offered, “I’ll create a companion for you who will cook your meals, clean your home, and run all your errands.” The man considered; and then replied, “I don’t know. An arm and a leg is a lot to lose. What will you create if I only give you a rib?” And the rest... is history!
The relationship between men
and women: We cry about it, we fret about it, and we certainly joke about it. The
great philosopher Socrates is reported to have said, “My advice to you, young
man, is to get married. If you find a good wife, you’ll be happy. If not,
you’ll become a philosopher.” More recently, the humorist Will Rogers commented,
“There’s two theories about arguin’ with a woman; and neither one works.” Even
the science-fiction writer Ray Bradbury put in his two cents’ when he said,
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get
used to the idea.”
But when all the jokes have
been told and all the clever lines have been said, we’re left with a serious
question: What should the
relationship of men and women be? Many people have claimed that one is superior
to the other. The early Christian thinker Augustine concluded that women are
fit only to bear children. The medieval theologian Thomas Aquinas stated that
women are defective, while men are complete. And the reformer John Knox stated
flatly, “Woman was made for only one reason: to serve and obey man.”
Is that right? Are men superior
to women? That is what some Christian denominations teach; and they claim that
the Bible supports it. They use texts from both Old and New Testament to prove
their point; but the story on which all of their thinking rests is the story of
the creation of man and woman in Genesis 2. So maybe we’d better take another
look at that story. What does it really
say about the relationship between men and women? How does God intend for them to relate?
Some people find meaning in
the order in which humans were
created. They say that man is superior to woman because man was created first.
But that argument doesn’t really hold up when we look at it closely. If you’re
going to argue that whatever is created first is better, then what do we do
with the story in Genesis 1? Remember that in Genesis 1, men and women were
created last. Is that story saying
that everything else in creation is better than human beings? Of course not!
Genesis 1 says that human beings are created in God’s image, meant to rule on
earth in God’s place. In Genesis 1, the best thing in creation – humankind – is
created last. The relationship
between men and women can’t rest on which one was created first.
But if we look closely at the
Hebrew words that are used in Genesis 2, we can find a really big clue as to
what God intended the relationship of men and women to be. We find it in how
God refers to the woman before she is even created. In verse 18, God decides to
find an ”ezer k’negdo” for the newly created human. That’s the Hebrew for what
God is looking for: an “ezer k’negdo.” What does that mean? Well, the first
word, “ezer,” can be translated as “helper.” But that word “ezer” doesn’t refer
to a servant! An “ezer” is someone who is strong: a nurturer and a protector.
In fact, the word “ezer” in the Old Testament is most often used to describe
God! When Psalm 121 confesses that our “help” comes from the Lord, the One who
makes heaven and earth, the word for “help” is “ezer.” No one in their right
mind would describe God as the maid! An “ezer” is the help on whom you can
always rely.
So if “ezer” means a strong,
reliable help, what about the Hebrew word “k’negdo”? Like many Hebrew words,
it’s hard to translate. The closest that we can come is that it means
“corresponding to him.” The New International Version says “suitable for him,”
while the New Revised Standard Version translates it “as his partner.” It’s
really a question of status. Someone
in the Ancient Near East who was “k’negdo” had the same social standing that
you had. “K’negdo” is neither above you nor beneath you. If you put the two
words together – “ezer k’negdo” – it describes a social equal who is a source
of nurturing strength. If we trust the words that the author of Genesis used,
that’s what God intends women to be – partners who are not only the social
equals of men; but who also nurture them, protect them, and are a source of their
strength.
Of course, we all know that
in the Genesis story, this ideal relationship hardly gets off the ground before
it is spoiled. When the first two humans eat the fruit of the forbidden tree in
the middle of the garden, their equal relationship turns into something very
different. We’ll consider that story in a couple of weeks. For now, it’s enough
to say that although women are subservient to men, that situation is not what
God originally intended.
But in Christ, that
relationship is mended. Jesus accepted all people – both men and women – as God’s valued children. He
modeled God’s original intent for men and women. In the eyes of Jesus, neither
was less valuable than the other. Paul understood this, and reminds us in his
letter to the Galatians, “There is no longer Jew nor Greek,
there is no longer slave nor free, there is no longer male and female; for all
of you are one in Christ Jesus.” Through Christ, the relationship of mutuality
that men and women can and should have is restored. We may not be back in the
Garden of Eden; but we can live as though we are!
Unfortunately, living like that is hard to do. There
are areas of the world in which men are legally in charge, and women have
virtually no status. Saudi Arabia comes to mind. Women aren’t even permitted to
drive a car in Saudi Arabia! Girls are forced into marriages that benefit their
fathers financially; and showing any independence might lead to their being
stoned to death. Our own culture even buys into the inequality. For years we
have heard that women aren’t as valuable as men. And girls are caught in a
cultural bind. On the one hand, the media portrays them as shallow, stupid, or
scheming. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, just watch one episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County. On
the other hand, Madison Avenue holds women to impossibly high standards. Have
you ever seen an aging, overweight woman – somebody who looks like me – in a
clothing advertisement? I didn’t think so. It’s no wonder that little girls
grow up not knowing who they are!
Hopefully it’s here, in the midst of the body of
Christ, that women can see what God intended for them. It’s here that men and
women can live in mutually supportive relationships that nurture both of them. It’s
here that men can put down the heavy burden of always needing to be in charge,
and let someone else carry their heavy loads for a while. It’s here that girls
can learn that they are valuable children of God just as much as boys!
Hopefully here, in our congregation, both men and women can learn how God
intended them to relate to one another, even as they learn how God wants them
to relate to Jesus Christ.
Yes, the relationship between men and women is a
complicated, controversial topic. That isn’t likely to change any time soon. And
each one of us has to work out for ourselves who we are, and how we relate to
one another as women and as men. Maybe the best way for me to end this sermon
is the way I began it – with a quote. It’s by Ralph Waldo Emerson, American
essayist and poet. He said, “Let us treat both men and women well. Treat them
as if they were real. Perhaps they are.”
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