Doubting has a bad reputation.
At least, it does where many Christians are concerned. Some well-meaning church
folks are convinced that they must be certain about everything, or their faith
is weak. No doubting is allowed – about anything! That mindset may well come
from this story of Thomas in the gospel of John. We know him better as
“Doubting Thomas.” That title isn’t a compliment. But does Thomas deserve all
the criticism that he has received down through the ages? Is his doubting
evidence of a weak faith – or of a faith that welcomes doubts and ends up
stronger as a result? Maybe Thomas deserves a second look.
The story begins on the
evening of Easter day. Jesus appeared to the disciples who were gathered together
behind locked doors. He showed them his hands and his side so that they could
see for themselves that Jesus was who he said he was, that he had indeed been
raised from the dead. But Thomas wasn’t there that night. Maybe he was off
mourning by himself; maybe he had gone on an errand; maybe he was even
considering leaving the group entirely now that Jesus was gone. Whatever the
reason for his absence, Thomas didn’t see the risen Christ. And so, when the
other disciples told him that they had seen Jesus, alive and in the flesh,
Thomas was understandably more than a little skeptical. “I don’t believe it!”
was his response. “And unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my hand
into his side, I won’t believe it!”
Now, let’s not be quick to
condemn Thomas for his reaction. After all, no one in the history of the world
had ever been resurrected before. Oh, there were stories of miraculous
healings, and even sporadic reports of the dead being restored to life, but a
resurrection after a couple of days in a tomb? That sort of thing had never
happened before, not ever. So of course
Thomas doubted the story that he heard! Why wouldn’t he doubt it? If we had
been in Thomas’ position, we would probably have doubted it, too.
The story picks up a week
later. This time, Thomas was with the other disciples when the risen Christ
appeared to them. Now, we might expect Jesus to condemn Thomas for his doubt.
But that’s not what happened. No, in fact, Jesus offered Thomas the very proof
that he needed in order to believe! “Here are my hands,” said Jesus. “Put your
finger in the holes. Put your whole hand into my side if you need to do that! I
want you to be certain that I am who I say I am.” And what was Thomas’
response? “My Lord and my God!” he exclaimed. It’s the fullest statement of
faith in all of John’s gospel. And in my opinion, Thomas is able to make that
statement not in spite of his doubt,
but because of it.
Here’s why I say that. Doubt
isn’t anything terrible. It is simply a situation in which we aren’t sure about
something. We don’t have the certainty that we want to have. In Thomas’ case,
he wasn’t sure whether or not Jesus had really risen from the dead. His doubt
opened the door to questions; and his questions suggested a way to lay his
doubts to rest. If Thomas saw the hands and feet of the risen savior, he would
know that what the other disciples said was true. That’s exactly what Jesus
showed him. And because Thomas’ doubts were laid to rest, he was able to
confess both Jesus’ lordship over his life and Jesus’ divinity. “My Lord and my
God!” is exactly what we should all be saying to Jesus Christ. And Thomas, the
doubter, was the very first person to say it.
You may be surprised to learn
that doubting actually has a long history in Christian thought. Some of the
greatest Christian thinkers, in fact, began as the biggest doubters. Saint Augustine,
for example, lived in the 3rd century. His mother, Monica, was a
devout Christian; but he doubted that his mother’s faith was the right one. He
studied all kinds of other philosophies before he was moved to become a Christian.
He describes that experience in his Confessions:
“…it was as though the light of faith flooded into my heart and all the
darkness of doubt was dispelled.” Through his doubt, he came to faith.
In the 1500s, a monk named Martin
Luther had doubts of historic proportions! He doubted many of the church
practices of his time, wondering if they were even biblical. In fact, he
doubted 95 things all at the same time! Those were the items on his famous list
that he posted on the church door at Wittenberg, Germany. He was expelled from
the Roman Catholic Church, but his doubts helped him to come to a different
understanding of the faith he had been taught. In the process, he started the
Protestant Reformation.
And C. S. Lewis, who lived in
the 20th century, doubted not only the Christian faith; he doubted
that God even existed! But God can handle any doubt, even the doubts of
atheists. As an adult, Lewis converted to Christianity, and then wrote a wide
range of books based on his newfound faith! You’ve probably read some of them.
He is the author of the Chronicles of
Narnia.
None of these thinkers denied
their doubts or tried to ignore them. On the contrary, they embraced their
doubts. They wrestled with their doubts. They worked through their doubts; and
by doing all those things, they came to a more authentic faith than they had
before.
Now, not all Christians are
keen on doubting. We all know about churches who say, “We know the truth, and
you better believe it!” Their particular brand of faith is the only one that
they will tolerate. Whoever belongs to that congregation is expected to accept
“the party line” with no doubts about it. The UCC isn’t like that. Our
ancestors have been some of the biggest doubters in Christianity! Down through
our history, we have questioned Bible interpretation, church government, and
certainly social policies. In fact, one of the foundations of UCC thinking is
that God is still speaking. Sometimes that means questioning traditional
thinking and reexamining the way that things have always been done. To those of
us in the UCC, doubting is OK; because it means that we’re taking our faith
seriously. We’re wrestling with our doubts because we want to come to a more
authentic faith. Here in the UCC, we are expected to use our brains as well as
our hearts!
But the reality is that
doubting makes many Christians nervous. If you’re one of those folks, I have
some suggestions for you on how to handle your doubts. First of all, accept
that doubts are a normal part of the human condition. None of us know
everything, so all of us will be uncertain about something. And God knows that.
After all, God created us! Doubting is OK with God. It means that we’re using
our heads.
Second, examine your doubts.
Is there anything that will help lay them to rest? Pray about those doubts. Don’t
ask God to take them away; ask God for help in resolving them. Believe me, God
is ready to help you handle any doubts that are bothering you. And don’t be
ashamed that you are thinking seriously about your faith. Many people never do!
Finally, pay attention to
what God might be trying to tell you through your experiences. For example, if
you doubt that love really exists, you might find yourself running into people
who are in real loving relationships. God isn’t going to post a neon sign in
the sky; but God might well help you experience the very thing that you have doubts
about. And by the way, it’s OK to ask the pastor for help as you wrestle with
doubts. Any pastor worth the time of day has wrestled with at least as many
doubts as you have! From this pastor, at least, you won’t get judgment; you’ll
get support.
So, go ahead and doubt! Trust
that the risen Christ is ready to help you through your doubts, just as he helped
Thomas. Trust that the Holy Spirit will guide you in your thinking as you
wrestle with your faith. Thomas saw the risen Christ and was able to proclaim,
“My Lord and my God;” and as you work through your doubts, you’ll do that, too.
Of that I have no doubt.
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