What Now?

We've all had days when we felt that we didn't know how to move forward. The disciples probably felt like that, too, especially if John chapter 21 can be believed. How could they move forward when Jesus was gone? My sermon considers just that situation.

“What now?” That’s the feeling we get when life has permanently changed, and we’re just not sure what to do next. We get a taste of it every year on the morning after Christmas. When we wake up on December 26, something is missing. On the radio, Christmas carols have been replaced by pop music; the gifts that were so carefully wrapped yesterday are scattered across the living room floor; and the holiday magic that we have lived with since Thanksgiving has vanished like so much melting snow. “So, what now?” Sure, we’ve all felt like that.

Jesus’ disciples felt it, too – and in their case, it wasn’t just because the thrill of Christmas was over for another year! For the disciples in the 21^st chapter of the gospel of John, their entire last week had been absolutely overwhelming. On Sunday, they had watched Jesus ride into Jerusalem while the crowds acclaimed him king. On Thursday, they had shared the intimacy of a special evening meal. And then, in the span of just 24 hours, they had witnessed the unexpected betrayal of their master in Gethsemane, his arrest, a mob screaming for his death, and finally, his bloody execution. The disciples must have been numb with shock and grief. On top of that emotional overload, they had heard news of an empty tomb, and had experienced resurrection appearances that had to be seen to be believed. Is it any wonder that the disciples needed some time and space to process what had happened?

After experiencing an emotional roller-coaster, people seek comfort in all kinds of familiar activities. Some disappear to a mountaintop cabin where they can be soothed by the wind murmuring through the trees. Others lose themselves in television, reach for a big bag of chocolate, or spend long hours wandering the stores in the local mall. And many people seek the security of their job, whatever it is. Going to work is, after all, familiar territory. “What now?” Why, we go to work to do what we’ve always done! That must have been why, after Jesus’ resurrection appearances, Peter abruptly announced, “I’m going fishing!” and why several of the other disciples went right along with him. In the middle of world-altering events, Peter’s old job offered him comfort and security. Everything else in his life may have been topsy-turvy, but fishing was something in Peter’s life that hadn’t changed a bit.

But as Peter found out, the ordinary and routine in his life wasn’t ordinary and routine any longer. After a long night of unproductive labor in the boat, the disciples caught a glimpse of somebody on the beach. In the thin light of dawn, they couldn’t quite make out who it was. They heard him well enough, though, when he called out, “You don’t have any fish, do you?” No, that was true enough. They hadn’t caught as much as a sardine. “Why don’t you try the other side of the boat?” the man on the beach suggested. It sounded like something that Jesus would have said. When the disciples followed his suggestion and caught so many fish that the nets threatened to break, they realized that it was Jesus. Even in the middle of an ordinary day of fishing, Jesus was there.

Well, that was an awkward situation. Do you remember the last time that Peter had a private word with Jesus? It was on Maundy Thursday, the night that Jesus predicted that Peter would deny him, and Peter, for his part, insisted that pigs would fly before he ever denied his master. Peter, of course, did deny Jesus. And now, here he was, standing on the beach not 100 yards away from Peter – who wasn’t exactly dressed for the occasion. The gospel is very clear that Peter was as naked as the day he was born. Maybe it would be better to say that he was as naked as the day he was reborn. Peter, who had every reason to be ashamed of his own behavior, might have rowed with all his might in the opposite direction. It would have been easier to run away from the one he had denied. Instead, Peter was so eager to get to Jesus that he threw on some clothes and jumped into the ocean. By the time that the other disciples had reached the beach in the boat, dragging their net full of fish behind them, Peter was already there.

Don’t you wish we knew what Jesus said to Peter during that encounter on the beach? Did he scold Peter for his behavior? Did Jesus demand an apology from him? Maybe Jesus embraced Peter, and welcomed him like the prodigal son. We’ll never know exactly what happened between Jesus and Peter on the beach that morning. But we do know that by the time the other disciples arrived at the beach, Jesus had a meal ready for them – bread and fish cooking over a charcoal fire. Jesus invited them to join him for breakfast as casually as though he were hosting a tailgate party before a noon kickoff. It’s a funny thing about that charcoal fire. The last time that we saw one of those fires in John’s gospel, it was in the courtyard of the high priest, and Peter was denying Jesus next to its warmth. The disciple who had denied Jesus in the light of a charcoal fire being fed with a breakfast that Jesus had cooked over one! That’s an unexpected turn of events, and more than a little ironic!

Perhaps the biggest irony is that these disciples who wanted nothing more than to get away and think through what had happened to them ended up being fed by the very one who was the cause of their emotional roller-coaster in the first place! Jesus welcomed them, filled them with the food that they needed to survive, and nudged them back into the community that they thought they had left behind. I don’t know about you, but I hear Psalm 139 whispering in my ear: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths of the underworld, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and fly to the farthest reaches of the sea, even there your hand will guide me and your right hand will hold me secure”

We all feel like the disciples from time to time. We all ask “What now?” every now and then. Some folks, I imagine, are asking it right now. Some of us are asking “What now?” because the great celebration of Easter is behind us for another year. We’ve been to church on Palm Sunday and Easter – and maybe even on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday – and now that Holy Week is over, the same old worship routine seems almost boring. “Can’t we just skip it until next year; or at least until Christmas? What do I do now that Easter is over?” Others are asking “What now?” because their life has changed somehow. Maybe chronic health issues – their own or that of a loved one – have meant that life isn’t the same any more, and will never be the same again. “What now?” means learning to live in a way that is very different than it was yesterday. Still others are asking “What now?” because they have been bereaved. A loved one has died; and they are dealing with grief on a day to day basis. “What now?” is a question that they face as they adjust to a life with a big, empty hole right in the middle of it.

“What now?” Well, that answer will be different for each one of us. If you’re asking it now – and I know that some of you are – here is what I hope you remember from this sermon. First, it’s OK to get away to think things through. The disciples needed to process what happened to them; and sometimes we need to do that, too. Getting away can help us to pray and meditate without our usual distractions. Read the gospel of Luke sometime and take note of how many times Jesus went off by himself to pray! If Jesus did it, we certainly can do it, too! But don’t ever believe that by getting away from things, we somehow leave Jesus behind. Jesus is always standing right next to us, offering us what we most need to cope with whatever life is throwing at us. Just as the disciples met Jesus on the beach that morning, we meet him, too, in the most unlikely places and at the most unlikely times. Finally, don’t stay away too long. Sure, we all need to get away now and then; but it’s also good to come back into our community of faith. While Jesus meets us on the deserted beaches of our lives, he also meets us in the love and support of other people. Come back real soon! In the words of one commercial, “We’ll leave the light on for you.”

“What now?” I can’t answer that question for you. But I can tell you who will be right next to you helping you answer it. It’s the one who stood on the beach waiting for the disciples, and the one who waits for us today. It’s the one who fed them bread and fish, and the one who still feeds us today. It’s the one who has always been and will always be the answer to the question: “What now?”