Do You See This Woman?

On Sunday, we celebrated Gifts of Women Sunday in my congregation. All the liturgy was written by women, all the hymns were written by women, and this sermon lifted up women who are stereotyped, misunderstood or ignored. Do you see these women?

It sounds like a rhetorical question when Jesus asks it of Simon, the Pharisee. “Do you see this woman?” (Luke 7:36-50) Of course, Simon sees her. Everybody sees her! She has crashed the dinner party that Simon threw in Jesus’ honor; and now she is kneeling in front of Jesus, weeping and wiping his feet with her hair. She has even broken open a bottle of expensive perfume, and the whole house is filled with its intoxicating fragrance. Everybody sees her; and everybody knows that she’s the town floozy. She is as out of place among these people as cheap plastic earrings are next to a diamond necklace. Of course, Simon sees her. How could he miss her?

But Jesus isn’t asking a rhetorical question when he asks “Do you see this woman?” He’s asking a real question. And in fact, the truth is that Simon doesn’t see her at all. All he sees is the stereotype of the cheap woman. He looks at her short skirt, her low-cut blouse, her fishnet stockings, and her stiletto heels. He looks at her cheap jewelry and her layers of make-up; and all he sees is a commodity – a woman who can be bought for the right amount of money. But Jesus sees something very different. Jesus sees a woman who has no way to make a living other than selling herself; and who hates herself for doing it. Jesus sees a generous, compassionate woman who has been used and abused. Jesus sees the gifts that she has to give that are hidden by the stereotype. So when Jesus asks Simon, “Do you see this woman?” the question is real. “Do you see this woman, Simon” or do you only see what you want to see?”

Jesus asks the very same question to all of us. “Do you see this woman?” The reality is that we are surrounded by all kinds of women; and while we may look at them, many times we don’t really see them. We never get past the labels that people put on them or underneath the stereotypes. What would happen if we did that? Join me on a busy city street. Pick up your camera, point it at random down the street, and click a snapshot. Who did we catch in our photo? Three women claim our attention. One of them, young and shabby, is carrying a bag of groceries from the food pantry down the block. Next to her is a woman dressed in a business suit and carrying a leather briefcase. And across the street, an elderly woman is steadying herself on the arm of a younger man. What do we assume when we take a look at each of them; and what do we find when we really see them?

Let’s begin with the young woman. She looks like she doesn’t have much going for her. Her jeans are ripped and her tee shirt has seen better days. Her hair is unkempt and the soles of her shoes have been worn thin. She appears to be very familiar with the food pantry. We might assume that she is a “welfare mom,” someone who works the system because she is too lazy to work or not smart enough to hold down a job. But when we look beyond the stereotype, we find something unexpected. This young woman is an Army veteran. She is intelligent and organized. During her deployment in the Middle East, she rose rapidly through the ranks, and was an invaluable asset to her company. She has returned with a Purple Heart and an honorable discharge – and with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She has been employed several times since then, but the PTSD has made it difficult to hold down a job. She is still waiting to begin treatment at the VA. Do you see this woman?

Now let’s move to the well-dressed woman with the briefcase. She looks like she has her life in order! Everything about her screams “professional.” She wears a Rolex watch on the arm that carries the leather briefcase, and she is glancing at it as she walks. She must have a business appointment to keep. Perhaps she is a corporate lawyer with clients in Hong Kong or Geneva! We can’t help envying her life; she looks like she could do anything that she wants. We’re right about some things. She is indeed a well-paid lawyer. What we don’t see, though, is the reason she keeps glancing at her watch. She has an appointment with a fertility specialist. Our lawyer wants a child more than anything else in the world; and all her money can’t buy her that. And she would make a wonderful mother! She has the gifts of patience and creativity, and a real love for children. But so far, none of the medical procedures that she has tried have worked. And so she avoids places where she will be forced to mingle with mothers like family restaurants and amusement parks. On Mother’s Day, she will hide herself away until the painful day is over. Do you see this woman?

And what about the elderly woman on the arm of the younger man? What do we see when we look at her? Some people will see nothing but an outdated burden. She has just come out of the doctor’s office on one of her many regular visits. At least she is able to be out and about. Many of the women at the assisted living facility where she lives can’t even do that. She is comfortable there; and her family visits her at least once a week, sometimes more. But she feels useless. She was an art teacher during her long life, and she loved interacting with children as they worked on their own creations. She was a great listener; enthusiastic about what the children said, and always ready to suggest how they could make their art more fully their own. But there are no children where she lives now. She isn’t needed to help other residents create art; there is an activities director who does that. And there is no place for finger paints or modeling clay or watercolors at her residence. She would love to share her gifts, but it doesn’t seem likely that she will ever be able to do that again. Do you see this woman?

All women – indeed, all people – have gifts that they want to be able to use. Those gifts are a part of us, a part of our identity as children of God. But all too often, those gifts never come to light; because other people can’t get past appearances and stereotypes. We as the church are called to use our gifts in order to be fulfilled as the unique creations that we are; and to help others use their gifts, too. We are called to look past appearances. Jesus is asking each one of us right now, “Do you see this woman” – this one and that one and all the others? Will you look beyond appearances to see their reality? My prayer is that today your answer will be “Yes!”

I am indebted to Martin B. Copenhaver for the idea for this sermon, which was sparked by a sermon that he preached at the General Synod of the United Church of Christ in Long Beach, California in 2013. It is also considered in a chapter of his book "Jesus Is the Question" (Abingdon Press, 2014).