Restored Relationships

During Lent, it's a good idea to take a look not only at our relationship with God, but at our relationships with other people. How are those, anyway? Good? Not so good? Could use a little work? This sermon takes a look at the reason that we should try to reconcile with other people -- and it's a pretty good one!

“While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That verse is the very heart of the gospel message; and it should give us all goose bumps when we hear it! Jesus died for us when we had done nothing at all to deserve it! That’s what Paul is trying to explain in this portion of his letter to the Romans (5:1-11). Paul’s letters aren’t easy to understand, are they? In this text, for instance, he uses lots of big words like “justification” and “reconciliation.” He borrowed those words from the Roman legal system, so it’s no wonder that we wade through Paul’s letters slowly and painfully; and when we’re finished reading, sometimes we don’t know what in the world he was talking about! This letter to the Romans sounds like a legal brief that was written for the Supreme Court! It’s full of technical terms and complicated arguments that make it very confusing and hard to read. So let’s cut to the chase and translate Paul’s message into language that we use every day. Paul is saying that when Jesus died and was resurrected, he restored our relationship with God that seemed to be broken beyond repair. And Paul is saying that we didn’t do anything to help with that. In fact, when Jesus died for us, we were still behaving like jerks! But now, our relationship with God is restored – not because of anything that we did, but because of what Jesus did for us. We can boast, says Paul, not in ourselves, but in God and in the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

That’s the gospel message in a nutshell. It’s really pretty easy to explain once we get past all of Paul’s legal terminology. But what does it mean for us and for our behavior, especially our behavior during this season of Lent? I can tell you what it doesn’t mean! Just because Jesus has given us a “Get Out of Jail Free” card, we don’t get to sit on our big fat recliners and boast about how great we are! That “Get Out of Jail Free” card isn’t a reward; it’s an obligation. Since Jesus restored our relationship with God before we did anything to deserve it, we should be in the business of restoring relationships, too. After all, Jesus tells us over and over to get along with other people! As just one example, take a look at some things that Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1 – 7:29). “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (5:9) “If you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that someone has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift.” (5:23-24) “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (5:44) Are you getting the gist of this? We have been reconciled to God; and now Jesus asks us to reconcile with others! It’s as simple as that. But there are some objections to doing all this reconciling; and we might as well go right ahead and face them head-on.

“Why should I be reconcile with him? He owes me an apology.” We’ve all said that at one time or another, haven’t we? And we feel very self-righteous when we say it. But we probably owe apologies to other people, too. Have we done that? And we certainly owed God an apology when Jesus died for us! Maybe this objection doesn’t hold as much water as we think it does.

“We don’t agree on anything.” We hear a lot of that these days! People don’t agree on anything: politics, religion, even where to eat for lunch! But let’s think about that a little more deeply, shall we? We’re all limited human beings, influenced by what we’ve been taught and what we’ve experienced. And because we are limited, we all come to different conclusions about what should be done and how it should be done. If we wait to agree with one another, we’ll never get along! Don’t let differing opinions keep you from reconciling with other people! Remember that they may be criticizing you, too.

“She really hurt me.” Yeah, that’s a tough one. When we have been hurt, we turn into turtles that pull back into our shells and don’t want to come out until it’s safe. But being hurt is part of being human. We need to remember that we have also hurt others; and we probably didn’t even realize that we were doing it. Maybe we should treat others the way that we want to be treated in return and at least try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

But let’s jump to the other side of the fence for just a minute and take a look at some pitfalls that it’s easy for us to fall into when we try to reconcile with other people. Reconciliation doesn’t mean allowing other people to treat us as doormats. It’s always wise to set boundaries in our lives to keep others from using us – and misusing us. And reconciliation also doesn’t mean that we should allow other people to dictate what we do. Sometimes we need to stand firm even if others don’t agree with what we’re doing. And that means that there will be people with whom we will never reconcile; because they won’t want to reconcile with us! Sometimes the best that we can do is to be ready to reconcile with those folks. Reconciliation is, after all, like the tango: it takes two to do it.

The bottom line is that reconciling with other people is really hard. But Jesus never said that following him would be easy. In fact, he assured us that it would be very difficult. Remember that he told us that following him would be like picking up a cross and carrying it along with us. If that isn’t one of the messages of Lent, I don’t know what is! When we are tempted to let a broken relationship stay broken because reconciling would be too hard, we should remember that Jesus’ entire life was spent reconciling people. He healed lepers to bring them back into community with others; he loved the undesirables of society; and in the end, he died to reconcile us with God. Being willing to reconcile with others is simply not optional for us if we claim to be following Jesus.

“Therefore,” says Paul, “being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” If Jesus restored our relationship with God, maybe we should start healing our relationships with other people, too. It seems to be the least that we can do for someone who died for us.