Who's Driving Your Life?

"What are you giving up for Lent?" It's fashionable to deny ourselves something during the season of Lent. But... is that what Jesus meant when he told his followers to deny themselves? This sermon examines self-denial -- what it is, and what it isn't.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) Wow. That’s heavy stuff. This is one of Jesus’ teachings that most of us have trouble with. Who in the world wants to deny himself and take up a cross? Can we get away from it by saying that this teaching is a figment of Matthew’s imagination? No, it’s in three out of the four gospels; so we have to take it seriously. In fact, it’s one of the foundations of a life lived for Christ. Self-denial is something that we are clearly supposed to do; so we might as well face it head-on.

What is self-denial, anyway? Maybe the first thing to do is to realize what self-denial isn’t. First of all, self-denial isn’t seeing ourselves as worthless. The same Jesus who tells us to deny ourselves also assures us that we are God’s beloved children. After all, he died for us! No, we are infinitely valuable to God, and Jesus wants us to recognize our own worth. Self-denial also doesn’t mean discarding the gifts and talents that God gave us. If you enjoy doing something, you don’t have to give it up! God created us with those gifts and talents; and God wants us to use them. And self-denial doesn’t have to mean seeking out suffering for its own sake. Giving something up for Lent – a favorite food, an hour of TV, or even constantly checking your Facebook wall – can be meaningful if it is done thoughtfully and prayerfully. But throughout Christian history, people have taken this kind of practice to lengths that Jesus never intended! In the Middle Ages, for example, some people gave away all their possessions and spent their lives as naked beggars. Others mutilated their own bodies. At the extreme, hermits lived alone in caves and existed on bread and water, fasting until they were almost dead. But this kind of behavior turns self-denial into a mockery of what Jesus is really asking us to do!

And that begs the question, doesn’t it: what exactly is Jesus asking us to do? If we have a healthy self-image, make joyful use of the gifts and talents that God gave us, and reject self-inflicted suffering – well, how can we practice self-denial? Here’s my answer to that: we deny ourselves when we turn our lives over to God and let Jesus direct what we are doing. Let me say that another way. We deny ourselves when we give up control of our own lives and give that control to Jesus. In last week’s sermon, I said that the essence of Lent is “repentance,” and “repentance” simply means making adjustments in your life when you realize that you aren’t living the way that God wants you to live. I compared living a Christian life to driving a car. You have to make adjustments constantly as you’re driving. You can’t just get on the road, point your car towards your destination, and sit back and read the newspaper! You need to keep your eyes on the road! And the more skilled the driver, the better chance you have of arriving safely. So, who’s a better driver when your life is concerned: you or Jesus? I think that we both know the answer to that!

A country song from several years back tells the story of a young mother who wasn’t really paying attention to the winter road on which she was driving. Before she knew it, she was spinning on a sheet of black ice, out of control and heading for disaster. Terrified, she cried, “Jesus, take the wheel. Take it from my hands! I’m letting go; so give me one more chance and save me from this road I’m on!” After the car stopped safely on the side of the road, she realized that her car wasn’t the only thing that she needed to give to Jesus; so she prayed, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been living my life. I know I’ve got to change; so from tonight, Jesus, take the wheel.” That’s self-denial, friends. Self-denial is simply admitting that we aren’t very good drivers, and that we need to let Jesus drive us to our destination! After all, we aren’t very good at staying on the right road! We get distracted by that wide highway marked “Selfishness” that runs right alongside the road that we’re traveling. There are exits to selfishness all along our way; and letting Jesus drive helps us to stay on track. We love to pull off at the hotel labelled “Comfort,” and then we stay there for way too long! Jesus wants us to renew ourselves, but it should be an overnight stay, not a destination. And boy, do we pay attention to all the billboards along the way! You know, the ones that I’m talking about. They say things like, “Exit here for status!” or “Hate and revenge in only 25 miles!” One of the most enticing is “More stuff than you can possibly use – and plenty of useless trinkets for the kids! Pull over now!” If Jesus isn’t driving us, we get sucked in by all those ads; and we risk never getting back on the right road.

Now, it’s true that self-denial carries some risk. When Jesus is driving, we’re never sure exactly where he is going to take us. And let’s face it, Jesus sometimes drives us over roads that are on very few maps. Loving others as we love ourselves is a road full of bumps and ruts. It’s not comfortable at all. And that road of mercy and compassion… It’s really hard to stay on. Why, sometimes we aren’t even sure where the sides of the road are! And now and then, Jesus asks us to suffer for the sake of other people. I’m convinced that’s what he means when he tells us to “take up our cross.” Most of the time, it’s merely an inconvenience – a hangnail where suffering is concerned. But if he asks us to really, truly suffer, to risk our health, or our financial security, or even our lives… Well, we need to be ready to stay in the car without doing any backseat driving.

Giving Jesus control of our lives – putting him in the driver’s seat – that’s what self-denial is all about. When Jesus drives our lives, our healthy self-image won’t swell into an inflated ego that cares nothing about other people. When Jesus is in the driver’s seat, he’ll make sure that we have opportunities to use our gifts and talents in ways that not only satisfy us, but also benefit others. And the suffering that we are asked to undergo will be for the sake of other people who are also God’s children! In the end, denying ourselves is really just another way of saying that we have been “born again.” That’s not some weird, spooky thing that happens in the dark of night. Being born again is putting aside the need for control of every facet of our lives, and we handing that control back to Jesus. And for most of us, we need to do it over and over and over again. So, on this second Sunday of Lent, as each one of us is trying our best to repent in the way that is most necessary, here are some questions for you to consider. Who’s driving your life? Are you allowing Jesus to decide which highway you travel? Are you letting him help you pass by the temptations that lead to very dangerous roads? Are you ready to follow him wherever he leads you? As we move through Lent towards Easter, it’s something that you might just want to consider.