I clearly
remember the first paper that I had to write for a seminary class. I was
working on my Masters of Divinity, the degree that eventually helped me to
become a member of the ordained clergy; and the class was “Introduction to
Theology.” It was taught by a very congenial professor who, nevertheless, had a
mind like a laser. He could poke holes in sloppy thinking as easily as a cook
can poke holes in a baked potato. I was dismayed when he told us that our first
paper was to be a summary of our personal theology. In other words, he wanted
to know what we already believed about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. That
sounds easy enough, but he was going to grade that paper, and I didn’t want to
say anything stupid! I agonized over what to say. Finally, I decided to simply
write what I believed without trying to impress him. But to hedge my bets, I
titled that paper “Everybody Has to Start Somewhere.” I hoped that it would
remind my professor that I hadn’t been doing this kind of thinking for very
long. It turned out that he liked the title very much! He even added a comment
at the paper’s end to the effect that I was quite right, everybody does have to
start somewhere; and his job wasn’t to criticize my starting point, but to meet
me there and to help me to move ahead.
I am
reminded of his comment every time that I read this passage from the gospel of
John (21:15-22). It’s the story of Jesus three-fold question to Peter: “Do you love me?”
When we read it, we remember Peter’s denials of Jesus on the eve of Good
Friday, and we realize that Jesus has given Peter three opportunities to redeem
himself from those denials. Every time that Jesus asks “Do you love me?” Peter
replies, “Of course, I love you!” putting his denials in the past so that he
can move into the future with a clear conscience. But something else is going
on here, too; and we need to dig deeper into the text to find out what it is. Some
of you already know that there are three Greek words that mean “love.” One is eros, the love that is expressed
physically between two human beings. Another is phileo, the warm love that friends feel for one another. (You can
hear phileo in the name of
Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.) The third is agape, the love that puts concern for someone else ahead of your
own welfare. Which of these words for “love” does Jesus use in his questions to
Peter; and which of these words does Peter use in his answers?
Jesus begins
by asking Peter, “Do you agape love
me?” In other words: Peter, are you going to put your own welfare aside in
order to follow me fully? Peter answers, “Yes, Lord, I phileo love you.” In other words, Jesus, you’re my very best
friend! Jesus has asked something of Peter that he was not ready to give just
yet. Jesus wanted agape love, but
Peter was only at the level of phileo
love. So Jesus asks again: “Peter, do you agape
love me?” and Peter repeats his response: “Yes, Lord, I phileo love you.” Now, Jesus might have done a couple of things. He
might have kept pestering Peter to show agape
love. Or he might have given up on him entirely. But Jesus didn’t do either one
of those things. Instead, Jesus adjusts his question to match Peter’s ability
to answer. So the third time that Jesus asks Peter about his love, he asks “Do
you phileo love me?” Peter answers
“Lord, you know everything! You know that I phileo
love you!” Yes, Jesus did indeed know that, right then, all Peter could do was to
phileo love him. The agape love would come later. Jesus met
Peter where he was instead of insisting that he be farther along the road of
faith. Like my professor in seminary, Jesus doesn’t criticize our starting
point. Instead, he meets us where we are in our faith and helps us to move
ahead!
That’s something
we need to remember when we put ourselves down for not being good enough
Christians. We compare ourselves to the giants of the Christian faith, and we
conclude that we’re pretty weak stuff. We aren’t planning to go to India to
minister to the last and the least like Mother Teresa. We aren’t willing to put
our lives on the line for social justice like Martin Luther King. We can’t
think deep thoughts like St. Paul. And because those kinds of Christian
behaviors aren’t on our radar screen, we decide that Jesus must be pretty
disappointed with us; and we give up. We’re like the woman who decided that she
needed to be more physically fit after seeing pictures of willowy models in her
copy of Vogue magazine. First, she
entered a 5K race – and couldn’t finish it. Then, she went to the Y and tried
lifting weights. She couldn’t lift even the smallest ones. Finally, she asked
the swim team coach if she could work out with the swimmers. You can guess how that ended! The lifeguard had to fish
her out of the pool. She had set herself up for failure because she tried to do
too much too quickly! She would have done better if she had worked with a
personal trainer. That trainer would have told her to start by walking briskly
15 minutes a day, to use cans of soup as weights, and to take a gentle aquatics
class followed by swimming a few laps. We do the very same thing to ourselves
when we decide that we aren’t very good Christians because we can’t measure up
to the giants in our faith. When we do that, we set ourselves up for failure.
But we need
to remember that Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King and St. Paul didn’t start
out by being giants. They all started somewhere else. Mother Teresa was a
teacher when she was a young woman. Martin Luther King was a local church pastor
who suffered from depression. And St. Paul was a rabbi who persecuted
Christians savagely because he believed that they were heretics. By the way,
both St. Paul and Martin Luther King denied the reality of the resurrection at
one time in their lives. Oh, yes, they came a long way! Jesus met them where
they were and guided them one step at a time. Their spiritual muscles had to
develop slowly – and so do ours!
So what
would happen if Jesus met you today and asked whether you love him and what you
are doing for him? What would you say? Don’t compare yourselves to Mother
Teresa; focus on where you are now! Are you thinking about working one
afternoon a month at the soup kitchen? That’s an important ministry! Do you
speak up on behalf of the poor when someone comments that welfare mothers are
lazy sponges? That’s social justice in action! Are you reading the Bible and
trying to understand the faith and its history better than you do now? That’s
how St. Paul started! Even if you’re only doing your best to be patient with
your annoying neighbor, you’re following Jesus’ example of being a peacemaker. After
all, everybody has to start somewhere! Do you agape love Jesus; or do you only phileo love him? It doesn’t matter what your answer is; Jesus is
ready to meet you where you are and to help you move ahead in your faith
journey. Why don’t you let him do just that?
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